Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Water - Jacob

Have I written this in a way that allows you to feel what a did and get a good picture of what happened - read my story and leave me a comment.

If you were at camp and you squirted your brother with water, what do you think your brother would do to you?

getting up, I walked out of the tent like a wind up toy. On the ground I saw my water gun lying like a sleeping pig. I decided what I was going to do. I stood outside the tent (by the cliff) and waited for Christian to get out of the tent. I was getting ray to get Christian wet as payback for packing a spaz at me because I get the bathroom a little wet. I could not wait to see his ultra angry face.

He walked out and I pulled the trigger to the gun. ZZZZZZZ! The water flew towards Christian like a bullet.

"Grrrrrrr!!!!!!", screamed Christian in his spaz voice, throwing a pack of cards at me.

"ouch", I screamed. I wanted to throw him down the cliff. Instead I just squirted him more.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.....




2 comments:

  1. I think my brother would rugby tackle me and squirt me with my own water gun. I like the way you have used similes to bring your writing alive for your reader. Mrs Hughes

    ReplyDelete
  2. I could feel your brother's anger!!!!!
    Mrs McAllister

    ReplyDelete

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