Rat trap
I was
getting ready for school and I saw my dad setting up a rat trap. I asked him
what he wanted it for, he said he herd a rat crawling around the roof.
When I got
home I asked if it went off but it didn't When I got ready for bed I asked again
it still didn't go off but in the middle of night. “SNAP” I ran out in to the
lounge there was nothing there so I went bake in to bed.
The next morning I got out of bed and went in
to the kitchen and my dad was holding a big black rat. The rat was dead It was
dangling on the massive trap, its head has nearly fallen clean off. Blood was
rushing down the massive rat.
My dad
took the rat outside I don’t know where he put’s them. He
probably buried them.
Great to see you working to improve your writing today. You added in decsriptive pieces!! Great.
ReplyDeleteEli, I'm really pleased to see you writing on the blog, and it has IMPACT. I can 'hear' your writing voice and (unfortunately, because its not pretty,) I have a picture in my head of blood rushing down the massive rat. Ugh!
ReplyDeleteDon't let dad into your classroom. He might get ideas about the girls (rats)!!!
Mrs C
Great story Eli. I liked how you put snap into capital letters. Go back and find some spelling errors. That rat looked creepy in my mind.
ReplyDelete