Everyone. Even me knew that rubbish bin was evil and here is proof...
My name is Percy Fawcett and I tell this from up in the sky, the heavens...
It stared at me and I stared back. I could hear my heart pounding as I walked slowly towards the BIG GREEN BIN... I drew in my breath and held and I wrenched open its putrid jaws. This was it the moment of truth to see if the legend is true. The legend about children diapering into this terrorize monster, whenever they go to put rubbish in the bin. Everyone was there watching my CRAZY act. Slime oozed from its sides and made me cower, but I was forced to open it. All I could see was darkness and two frightful eyes staring straight back at me. There was a scream. My scream. I was being dragged down... down... down... to it's murky depths. I was practically being savaged by two frighting arms. Everything goes black. I have no idea what happened except that now my family, friends and everyone else that knew me were crying I didn't know why especially when I was there alive with wings on my back. Oh well I never really understood them and their ways.
My name Percy Fawcett is now in the book of History in the 'CRAZY act of bravery' department.
By Percy Fawcett
~ Evette ~ Horses
Percy/Evette, this is a very good concept. Would you consider using 'him/he' when referring to the bin - that would PERSONalise the personification I think. When you complete your final draft perhaps you could keep the reader in suspense a little longer by leaving it to near the end to introduce the idea that 'he' was a BIG GREEN BIN. Please share more of this with me - what does the next chapter involve?
ReplyDeleteMrs C
Thanks for the advice Mrs C.
DeleteI have just edited and added a bit more. Um I am still thinking about the next chapter..... yes I wonder too what it will involve...
~ Evette ~ Horses